


Richie Reads Mean Tweets

by d0ntyouforgetaboutme



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Famous Richie Tozier AU, Fluff and Humor, M/M, T for trashmouth, author is worse at endings than bill denbrough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 01:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0ntyouforgetaboutme/pseuds/d0ntyouforgetaboutme
Summary: Richie reads mean tweets





	Richie Reads Mean Tweets

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the idea of Richie reading mean tweets only to have them all be from Eddie on Tumblr and I had to write it

Richie was used to being in front of an audience, but that never made the experience any less anxiety inducing. He had gotten most of his nerves out backstage, thanks mostly to a couple shots of bourbon, but he still fought the urge to anxiously bounce his leg.  
Everyone thought it would be funny to have Richie read some mean tweets and now he was on live television to promote his new Netflix special, about to do just that. He was fine with it, he could definitely handle a few assholes on the internet.  
He waited for his cue before he looked at the camera and said “Hi, I’m Richie Tozier and today I’m going to read some mean tweets.”  
The tweets had already been picked out, Richie just had to read them. He went to the first one and immediately laughed when he saw the user’s Twitter handle.  
“From @eddiektozier, ‘You might think @richietrashmouth is annoying in his specials, but I promise he’s 10x more annoying in person.’”  
He looked at the camera with a shit eating grin and said “This tweet is actually from my lovely husband, Edward, who is watching this at home right now.” The audience, of course, loved that and their laughter helped calm his nerves. He scrolled and found his next tweet, also from Eddie.  
“‘You don’t know torture until you’ve spent an entire day listening to @richietrashmouth write and practice his new material’” Richie chuckled. “I love you too, Eddie Spaghetti.”  
The next tweet was, once again, by Eddie. “I’m starting to sense a theme here” he joked. “‘Just watched The Big Bang Theory for the first time and it’s not funny at all. And I know not funny, I live with @richietrashmouth.’” The audience erupted into laughter. Richie was practically snorting.  
“‘I would like you all to know that @richietrashmouth is a dumbass. Source: he spent 5 minutes looking for his phone while it was in his pocket the whole time’” Richie felt himself blush. “Damn, Eds, you’re just gonna expose me like that?”  
“‘Just caught @richietrashmouth stealing my cereal. Again. He’s a dick. #cancelrichietozier.’ Can we get #cancelrichietozier trending on Twitter guys?” The audience cheered at this remark and Richie fully expected that he’d spend his evening scrolling through a tag cancelling him for eating his husband’s cereal.  
He read a couple non-Eddie tweets, just the usual “you suck” and “you’re not funny” and “you’re a douchebag”, when he got a Twitter notification. He smirked when he realized who it was from.  
“And to end this, Eddie is definitely watching this at home because I just got a notification, he just tweeted ‘Fuck you @richietrashmouth enjoy the couch tonight.’” He looked directly at the camera, grinning like a madman, and said “I guess this is retaliation for calling you Eddie Spaghetti on live tv?”  
He let the audience laugh and cheer for a few moments before he did what he was supposed to do on this show in the fucking first place, which was promote the Netflix special. “Go watch I Killed A Clown Once (or Twice) on Netflix!” He waved to the audience and waited for his cue that he could leave.  
Richie stood up and immediately started getting ready to leave. As much as he loved talking to everyone, all he wanted was to go home and spend time with his husband who had just trashed him on live tv through Twitter.  
He wanted to curl up in bed with Eddie and their little pomeranian that won them over with its unreasonable amount of cuteness, even after they swore they would never interact with another pomeranian thanks to It. He wanted to tease Eddie about his mean tweets until he blushed and end the night cuddling him.  
When Richie got home, he found Eddie sprawled out on the couch, mug of hot chocolate in his hand and pomeranian in his lap. “I’m home, spaghetti man!”  
Stanley (Richie and Eddie insisted on naming their dog after Stan because all the other losers, minus Stan, found it funny. Especially since Richie now only referred to Stan as “Human Stan”) immediately jumped off Eddie’s lap and ran up to Richie, begging for his attention.  
“I see that” Eddie sipped his hot chocolate. Richie silently hoped that Eddie made some for him too. “Still haven’t learned your lesson about calling me spaghetti, huh?”  
“Why whatever do you mean, Edward?” Richie gave the same smirk that he had been giving the cameras all night as he plopped himself next to Eddie.  
“You’re welcome for the material tonight, by the way.”  
“I’m just glad they didn’t pick any comments about me being gay” Richie sighed. Since he had come out his fans had been very supportive, and he’d even gained some new fans in the LGBT community, but he definitely got his fair amount of homophobic comments. If Richie had a dollar for every comment or tweet calling him a faggot or mocking his sexuality, he wouldn’t have to do comedy anymore.  
Eddie ruffled the dark fluffy mess that was Richie’s hair. “If they did I would have tracked down those people and kicked their asses personally. I’m the only one allowed to make fun of you.”  
“And that’s why I married you” Richie planted a kiss on Eddie’s forehead. “Did you make hot chocolate for me?”  
“Yes, I made my manchild a cup that’s sitting in the kitchen.”  
“Excelenté! Thank you Eduardo” Richie started off to the kitchen. “Is #cancelrichietozier trending yet?”  
“Nope, not yet.”  
“Damn, guess you’re gonna have to keep hate tweeting me until it picks up” Richie teased, bending down to pet a whimpering Stanley. “You’re as demanding for attention as your daddy.”  
“How many people do you think are gonna think that I actually hate you?” Eddie said dryly.  
“Your profile picture is us at our wedding, so I’m gonna go with not that many” Richie teased.  
“Fuck you.”  
Richie smiled before he drank his hot chocolate. People saw the tweets of Eddie roasting Richie, but they didn’t see this side of his life. A career where he got paid to be obnoxious and vulgar that was starting to get some success again, a little ball of fluff at his feet begging for his attention, and his tiny husband that was just the right amount of annoying. This was Richie’s idea of perfect.


End file.
